The fear of heartbreak has stopped us more times than we should allow it too. Our hearts are muscles that expand and contract. They are not the fragile glass-encased rose we see in Disney, slowly dropping its petals as time proceeds, waiting for true love to find us hidden away.
Our hearts were meant to beat wildly and plummet deeply like the natural up and down rhythm that we see on an EKG read out. It will soar with hope and dip with disappointment. It will feel like we have sewn it back together numerous times and that is ok because each time we put a stitch in it, we learn a valuable lesson. That lesson being that it is a natural ebb and flow of all our yesterdays combined with our anticipation of tomorrow. Sure, we must live in the here and now but what kind of living is it if we don’t look back with a smile or to the future with excitement?
If we never experienced heartache, how would we know what happiness feels like? If we never sat up crying all night because we felt like we were being ripped apart, how would we understand the beauty all around us? Disappointment encourages us to reach for more not give it all up because it didn’t happen the way we had it painted in our minds. Obstacles are placed in our way, not to make us stop and turn around but to push us to look for solutions and ways around them.
Cutting ourselves off from our potential love experiences does not protect us. It deadens our emotions to the good things in life. We would walk around our worlds like a cast member of some zombie show if we allowed that to happen and seriously, who wants that kind of life? Never seeing the hope in a sunrise or to wish upon a falling star? To never feel anything would be a worse possible outcome, far greater than any heartache could ever feel.
Each time we allow the disappointments of our past to dictate the adventures of our futures, we lose. We lose the ability to grow and expand. We lose the ability to play in the game. We lose the ability to hear the music of love. We lose our ability to accept what couldn’t be and empower ourselves to what might be further down the road.
We may think it would be far easier to cut ourselves off from the possibilities of love but think of all that would be lost if we did. Those butterflies in your tummy from a simple message. A smile that tugs at the corners of your mouth when you catch someone glancing your way. The deep sighs of longing from a gentle touch, your heart racing as your body aches, yearning for more. The familiar way his lips feel on yours even after years of passion have passed.
So often I read messages or hear tales of someone saying they are done. They are done playing at what they perceive to be a losing game. They are done being vulnerable in allowing love to happen because they have felt what is feels like to have another reach in and claw their soul out but this is only an illusion—your soul is still very much attached to you. Yes, you can give your heart away but it comes with a return policy, a little worse for the wear but it yours forever.
This saddens me greatly when I hear of someone wanting to give up because hope is all I have right now. Hope is what I carry with me every damn day. Hope that my prince will indeed come riding in to sweep me off my feet. I am not looking for someone to save me and maybe that is the difference because I want my prince to simply walk beside me. When I hear these tales of lost love and hope discarded, I grieve a little for those people. How broken a person must feel at that moment in time to throw their hope out like some unwanted piece of trash.
But each time I see an older couple strolling along a path, hand in hand, pointing out things of interest to each other, I tear up at this. I don’t know if they have been together for 50 years or 2 and it doesn’t matter because here they are, in all their splendor, walking through life together. After all the years they have spent living, they still long for that connection that a simple little gesture of showing one another a bird or an object that brings such joy to the other’s face. Years of heartache and disappointment etched into the fine lines on their faces and yet here they are enjoying one another. All this life they have lived has brought them to this place in time, one that I happened upon by chance.
So the hope is alive and strong in me. Yes, I have suffered many obstacles along my journey in search of this true love that I see in that elderly couple’s faces. I have given my heart to a few over my time only to have it returned a little more battered and bruised. Yes, I have cried my share of salty tears over loss and dejection but I have not given up my desire to continue my search for it. That I will carry with me to my dying day.
We are not meant to walk this path alone. We are not meant to shut ourselves off from the promise of devotion and enchantment. We are not meant to shut down our hearts because it hurts too deeply. I believe this with all my being.
I will continue to breathe and just let it be because I for one, have faith in my quest for a fairy tale ending.