The First Time

Love at first sight is not impossible. We’ve all experienced that ‘click’. For me, it has happened 4 times in my life.

I didn’t know it yet but this love would last a lifetime. I had held you in my heart for so very long before I laid eyes on you. I had no idea what this love would look like nor was I prepared for it. It was refreshing to finally see you and my heart sighed a little. Ahhhh, there it is.

My world changed the first time I saw you. Where once lay an emptiness I never knew existed suddenly it was full. So full, I felt my heart might explode. So full of possibility and hope. I didn’t know it was missing from my life till the first time our eyes met.

All around us were noises and lights and the hustle and bustle of energy but all I saw was your big eyes. I reached for you. I pulled you in close to me to feel your warmth. To smell your smell. And to just have you near. I didn’t want to ever let you go.

The first time I saw you, my eyes filled with tears of joy. This moment I had been waiting for had finally arrived. I thought this day would never arrive even though it was inevitable. Even though I had prepared or at least thought I had. After some intense pain of bringing you into my life, it erased in a moment. I didn’t feel anything but the size of my heart grow.

From that first moment, with that look of wonder in your eyes, I have watched it more than once spark and ignite with passion. Passion for the next adventure. Passion for life itself. Always curious and wondering. You have always longed for adventure. Seeking out what life could offer you.

As the days turned into weeks and those turned into years, I knew from that first moment I saw you that you were never mine to keep. Your longing for more would take you away from me. Your desires would grow bigger and stronger till the day you’d set out in search of that more.

And that day did come. I could see it long before you admitted it to yourself or out loud to the world. From the first moment I saw you, I knew that my heart would break when this day arrived. The day you’d tell me you just couldn’t stay any longer.

Now I only get to see you in pictures. It makes me sad that I can’t reach out and touch you; stroke your hair out of your eyes or wipe a tear from your cheek. But I know you have wings now. And you are flying.

But I have all these memories of our love. The smiles. The happy moments. The milestones. And while that love will never disappear or grow weak, I knew from the moment I saw you that letting you go would be the proudest moment of my life.

And from the first moment I saw you, I have been proud of you ever since. You have struggled. You have fought. You have questioned my love at times. You have rebelled against it. You have sank into it. You have questioned yourself at times. But each time you fell down, you got up. You got up and looked for a better way. You have never settled for something you didn’t feel you didn’t deserve.

From the first moment I saw you, I knew that you will always be my baby. No matter how old I got or how much you grew. No matter how many miles there are in between us. No matter how much anger or disappointment we may feel with each other at times. No matter how much I piss you off or how much you piss me off.

So fly my girl. Fly far and fly near. Soar like you were meant to soar. Learn what you are meant to learn. Take from this world all that it will offer. Keep what you need. Discard what you don’t. Love with all your heart. Let it break with disappointment and pain. Be the glorious being you were intended to be. But know that you will always be my first baby.

And from the first moment I saw you, I loved you.

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Debbi Serafinchon Written by:

Just an average ordinary woman being herself on this crazy ride we call life. I say what I mean and mean what I say. I chose to bring along 4 crazy side kicks on this journey, my 4 kids. The actual realization of my journey began after my divorce. Hindsight being what it is, I realized before my divorce I was just going through the steps. My eyes are now wide open to the path ahead of me.

3 Comments

  1. Michael
    February 20
    Reply

    Your writing always speaks the truth ….. I love reading your stuff

    • February 20
      Reply

      Thank you Michael! That is a huge compliment ❤

  2. sumguy
    February 21
    Reply

    that is a love that last all eternity

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