Oh the fond memories. The SWC (Shitty Wives Club) was actually suggested by a man. Ok, he didn’t suggest that us women should get together and bitch about men. Come to think of it, he didn’t actually suggest we form a club. Maybe I should explain…
We had just moved into a new neighborhood. This is predivorce but ties into the divorce, so bear with me. Me being me… I had to get to know the neighbors. What better way to get to know the neighbors than a block party?? I know, I know… I rarely do anything small. So ANYWAY. Got a couple of other neighbors interested and set about planning a block party. It was an all-day event. I had kids games planned, a bike parade and a huge pot luck BBQ. We had neighbors pull out their BBQs, folding tables, I think we even had a shelter set up for some shade. Like I said, nothing small. Myself and another neighbor went door to door advertising the Block Party. We had people exciting to attend.
It was a gorgeous day. Sun was shining. Kids were EVERYWHERE. Adults were visiting. Some of the neighbors couldn’t make it, but all in all it was a fun day. Then the sun started to go down. Parents started putting their kids to bed. And somehow, our fire pit ended up in the middle of the street (I know, I was just as shocked as you are reading this!!). As the parents put their kids to bed, some would wander back to the fire-pit. The circle grew larger and larger. And then the tequila came out. THAT was not my fault. The Sambuca was… but not the nasty tequila. So the bottles got passed around. The jokes started. The laughter was flowing. We were having fun.
Around 1am one of the neighbors that couldn’t make it due to previous plans, wandered out after their company left. He was in fine form (kinda like the rest of us) and of course we welcomed him in to the circle. I believe he may have brought a bottle of something to share as well, memory is a little hazy on that.
Now keeping in mind, we really didn’t know each other all that well, we were getting along just fine. That’s when we heard it. A vacuum start up. At 1 in the morning. One of the neighbors was vacuuming… at 1 AM! One of the husband’s (yes, Lianne, I am talking about YOUR husband) announced ‘Now there is a good wife! Vacuuming after company leaves, no matter what time it is!’ I looked at him and asked (as I was well on my way to being 2 sheets to the wind) ‘what does that make the rest of us… Shitty Wives??’ His reply… a simple ‘Well, yes’. He was just being a smartass. Funny, as it were.
I really don’t think he had any idea what he started. I took it from there though. Decided that we needed to form a club. Really it was for the good of this wife that felt the need to vacuum at 1 in the morning. The other ladies around the fire added to the suggestions of an intervention. Thinking of vacuuming at 1 in the morning? Call us! We’ll save you! Hell, if you’re thinking of vacuuming ANYTIME, we’ll bring wine and talk you out of it! Of course the suggestions got crazier and crazier as the discussion went on (again, you’re gonna have to trust me on this, memory is foggy). I don’t think Trevor could have known just how far this group of crazy women could take this.
And take it we did! It was decided that we would hold monthly meetings! The first one was at my house. Kids and husband were kicked out for the night! All the ladies brought an appetiser to share. You get a group of woman banded together on a cause and WOW is there food! We actually had 2 husbands crash that first meeting (yes, plates in hand). Once they filled their plates up, we escorted them out!
Ok, this REALLY wasn’t a ‘We Hate Men’ thing. Women need women. We need to get together to vent, to laugh, to have fun with other women. The SWC was an excuse to get out of the house and bond with other women. And to eat. Oh and let’s not forget the wine! The wine was always in abundance at an SWC meeting!
That first meeting was a melding of the minds. After the wine started flowing, we thought a little bigger than a local club. We decided this should become a political party! (did I mention there was wine, A LOT of wine?). We just knew we could win an election! We also started a little tradition where everyone in attendance would state why they were a shitty wife. It was the Shitty Wives Club after all.
The first meeting was a success! The ladies stumbled home, next meeting already planned! Somehow it ended up at my house again. This time it was slightly bigger. More ladies were apparently Shitty Wives too! Who knew there were so many Shitty Wives out there! This is where the divorce part comes in…
Each month we would get together. Each meeting we would take turns explaining why we were a shitty wife. Some of the reasons were that they had served their kids cereal for dinner because they were coming to the SWC. Some didn’t serve dinner at all. I had kicked my family out (yet again) to host another SWC meeting. Then the night came that my one girlfriend won the title of Shittiest Wife for the best reason of all.
She rushed in through the door, anxious to share why she was a shitty wife. As she grabbed a glass of wine she announced that she was the shittiest wife of all because she had just told her husband she wanted a divorce! Hands with food in them stopped half way to mouths. Ladies stopped sipping wine midsip. All conversation stopped. Dead silence. Then after what seemed like an eternity passed someone announced that yep, she definitely won the title of Shittiest Wife! Hands down, no argument, yes indeed, she won.
And because I know how this story ends, I can safely say there were more than a few jealous wives sitting there as we basked in Karen’s courage. She was the brave one! The one that told her husband she was done and wanted out. I know, cause I was one of them! And over the next year, apparently there were a few more. I believe there was a total of 5 of us in the SWC that left our husbands.
We still get together. Not as regularly as we use to. Some are even still married. Needless to say, the SWC no longer exists. I think we actually had some husbands that were a little scared to see their wives head out to an SWC meeting! You actually have to BE a wife to be a member. And well, some of us are no longer Shitty Wives. Or any kind of wife for that matter.