I thought I had 0 fucks to give but when I was present with an NSA offer, I found I had fucks to give.
I was pretty sure I knew the context of NSA, but I was grasping for the words that make up that statement to ensure I was reading the message correctly. Even before I searched in Urban Dictionary, I was pretty sure I was going to be surprised by what it told me it meant coming from the person that sent it. I openly admit to using Urban dictionary many times. If the normal dictionary gives me a definition that doesn’t quite fit the manner in which I believe it was to be delivered, I will turn to Urban Dictionary. Such was the case yesterday when I was having a conversation by text (because getting together face to face to have a conversation is a thing of the past, apparently).
NSA is short for No Strings Attached. In other words, 0 fucks given. Well, in this case, 0 is not what was being sought, and that was why I was shocked. You know how you think you have read a person a certain way and they go and do something opposite of what you had envisioned? That was what was happened in this instance. I should start off by saying I am not the least bit offended by the offer. Not at all. I am, however, surprised by the person that delivered the message. I firmly believe that if you want something from someone, you should ask because you never know if what you want is the same thing they are offering. So the fact, he came right out and asked if I was interested in some NSA entertainment made me smile a little (after I got over the initial shock).
Here’s the kicker and why I am musing about this; I honestly thought I had this 0 fucks thing down pat. The inability to care about a situation is the general context of the whole 0 fucks movement. Imagine my surprise when I discovered that I actually gave a fuck. I mean, I was at a point where I thought I could have written the book on 0 fucks, but apparently, I have fucks to give. Well, not the kind of fucks that was being sought in this case but the kind where I don’t care because I care.
There, I said it.
I do care. I was concerned enough that I am giving off the ‘I am offering free sex’ vibe that I messaged a good friend to ask because this was not the first offer for some NSA fun. She assured me that I did not have a neon sign above my head advertising which in turn is causing me to question it even further. This is not specific to gender because in talking with friends, both men and women, there are tons of people out there that just wanting to hook up.
So I am now wondering if it truly is an offer with no strings attached? Is this a result of our immediate gratification world that we seem to be living in? If it is just about the release that sex can give, then why do you need a partner? There is plenty of free porn and toys out there for that release. Or is it that they crave the contact of another? Is it more about pretending for an hour or so that we are not alone? Maybe it is a fear of commitment that is driving this? Or is it a cry for intimacy, the closeness and togetherness that sex is often confused with? Or maybe I am way off base, and it is just sex.
Whatever the answer is, I know one thing for sure, I deserve more than an afternoon of NSA.