Is It Hip To Be Feminized?

I’m sure to ruffle a few feathers with this post and GOOD! I have had this thought swirling around in my head for quite some time and today is as good as any day to let my fingers dance across the keyboard.

So what do I mean by feminized men? Do I think they are weak? Do I think they are pussies? Not really. I actually think they are confused. Now keep in mind I am not a guy (I checked. I have all the women parts in the right places). I love this song by Brad Paisley so let’s start there. I’ll go verse by verse with my thoughts…

“I’m Still A Guy” by Brad Paisley

When you see a deer you see Bambi
And I see antlers up on the wall
When you see a lake you think picnic
And I see a large mouth up under that log
You’re probably thinking that you’re going to change me
In some ways well maybe you might
Scrub me down, dress me up but no matter what
I’m still a guy

This speaks to perception for me. Men and women see things differently. Not that this is not a new theory. Not at all. So many books have been written on this I couldn’t even begin to list them all. Now most women will admit to reading “Men are from Mars and Woman are from Venus”. They want to understand how that male brain works. Most men will not openly admit to reading this book, but I’m sure a few have, just trying to figure out just WTF we are thinking.

You go to any book store and look at the self-help or personal growth section and you will see that it is by far more common for women to try and get in a man’s brain then it is for a guy to get in a woman’s brain. I’m not saying this is right or wrong, but it is fact.

When you see a priceless French painting
I see a drunk, naked girl
You think that riding a wild bull sounds crazy
And I’d like to give it a whirl
Well love makes a man do some things he ain’t proud of
And in a weak moment I might walk your sissy dog, hold your purse at the mall
But remember, I’m still a guy

Brad is telling us that when he sees something crazy and dangerous, he would love to give it a try. I think most men would. They would have no problem doing something to say “hey look at me, Imma MAN”. The song goes on to say that while a guy would do nice things for us, it’s not really their forte. But the point of this is, THEY WOULD DO IT. Because well, because he loves you. But he’s reminding us, that it’s not his favorite thing to do.

I’ll pour out my heart
Hold your hand in the car
Write a love song that makes you cry
Then turn right around knock some jerk to the ground
‘Cause he copped a feel as you walked by

This verse is telling me that he has a soft and sensitive side, but you push him and he’s not afraid to show he has another side. Now some might take that as a show of jealousy or possession, but I think it is in his DNA to be like this.

I can hear you now talking to your friends
Saying, “Yeah girls he’s come a long way”
From dragging his knuckles and carrying a club
And building a fire in a cave
But when you say a backrub means only a backrub
Then you swat my hand when I try
Well, what can I say at the end of the day
Honey, I’m still a guy

This is the part where I giggle a little because I have SEEN this first hand. A girl meets a guy. She is attracted to him then spends a great deal of time and effort on CHANGING him. She tries to change his style of dress. She gets him to change his hair style. She encourages him to give up things he enjoys doing or is jealous when he goes out with the guys to do their own thing. I am not saying all women do this, but there is a great majority of them that do. And then one day, she realizes she is no longer attracted to this guy because he’s changed so much! Ummmmm HELLO???

Now I am not saying all women do this. But I have witnessed this first hand, so I know it happens.

I’ll pour out my heart
Hold your hand in the car
Write a love song that makes you cry
Then turn right around knock some jerk to the ground
‘Cause he copped a feel as you walked by

Chorus again (cause it warrants repeating!)

These days there’s dudes getting facials
Manicured, waxed and botoxed
With deep spray-on tans and creamy lotiony hands
You can’t grip a tacklebox

With all of these men lining up to get neutered
It’s hip now to be feminized
I don’t highlight my hair
I’ve still got a pair
Yeah honey, I’m still a guy

Oh my eyebrows ain’t plucked
There’s a gun in my truck
Oh thank God, I’m still a guy

Lumping these last verses together because, well, they all speak to the same thing; he is a man. Not cause he hunts or fishes or any of that but ladies, it’s in their blood to be providers. It’s in them to be the one to be the protector. Just like our bodies are vastly different so are our brains. WE DON’T THINK THE SAME. Period. End of story. Stop right there.

We’ve all seen the joke or meme that shows a woman overanalyzing something and the man lying there wondering why the brakes in his truck won’t work.

Women spend more time trying to figure out what a man is thinking then a man actually spends thinking.

I am not being ignorant in saying that but as women we do it! Admit it ladies. How many time have you thought he was being distance and inattentive and your brain starting thinking that he obviously doesn’t care anymore. When you ask him what he’s thinking and he says oh nothing; Ladies! HE MEANS IT. Take his word for it.

I dated a guy quite a few years ago that went on and on about how it was when “they” were pregnant. The things “they” experienced. Ummmmm, call me crazy but when I was pregnant, it was just me carrying that baby. It was a complete turn off to me to have him say this. Not only that, it made my blood boil. Hey asshole… MY body changed. Not yours. So no… ‘we’ were not pregnant. Your wife was. You were just along for the ride. I am not trying to belittle a dad’s role, just making a point here folks.

Women expect a man to think like her. We have finely tuned this over the years as well. We finally have a lot of men being more supportive and caring and sensitive. And I am not arguing that in some ways this is a good thing. But have we taken it too far? Have we feminized men to the point that we expect them to be women in men’s bodies? Now keep in mind I am generalizing here, not all men or women are like this but it seems evident to me that men have no clue how to act with a women.

I have an idea, how about we just let each other be ourselves. Stop playing games with each other. Stop expecting the other person in the relationship to think or act or be like you. They are not you. Nor are they ever going to be. You were attracted to that person for a reason, let it be the reason you are still attracted to them. Maybe take some much needed time to figure yourself out before you try imposing your will on others.

So guys, do your man things (hunting, fishing, beers with the boys, etc.) and allow me to do my women things (giggling over you men, wondering why you are the way you are, etc.). Because for me, if I wanted to date someone that thought and acted like a women, I would date women.

But I like men.

I like manly men.

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Debbi Serafinchon Written by:

Just an average ordinary woman being herself on this crazy ride we call life. I say what I mean and mean what I say. I chose to bring along 4 crazy side kicks on this journey, my 4 kids. The actual realization of my journey began after my divorce. Hindsight being what it is, I realized before my divorce I was just going through the steps. My eyes are now wide open to the path ahead of me.

2 Comments

  1. sumguy
    November 13
    Reply

    very well written

    but I had to read it twice

    cuz, after all I am man, and the first time was a skim

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