I Am a Hot Blooded Women With a Soft Side

I am a Mother. I am a sister. I am a daughter. I am a niece. I am a friend. And that means I am still a woman underneath all those other hats I wear.

Side note: If your name is Raedean, Mckenzie, Mason or Parker or if you answer when I call Mom, you may wanna stop reading now.

I am a woman with wants, needs and desires. This still seems to be somewhat of a controversial topic, after all these years and all the fights for equality. No, I am not looking to start a debate over feminism. Nor am I trying to push a political agenda. I am just here saying that as a woman, I have certain hmmmm….. Let’s go with desires. But if as a woman, you let your desires be known, speak them aloud, tell others, there are labels that come with that. Just cause I say I wanna get laid, doesn’t mean I am pulling out my little black book to ensure it happens! Besides I don’t have a black book! Some nights I wish I did, but (sigh) I don’t.

(If you are one of the ones mentioned above, I’ll warn you again… STOP READING NOW)

And as a woman, I’d like to have those needs taken care of but if you speak them out loud or insinuate in any way you have those desires, you are made to feel less than respectable. I feel I speak for quite a few women on this topic. If you’re not one of those, well I won’t speak for you. Just please, DON’T GET YOUR PANTIES IN A KNOT OVER THIS TOPIC!

I get that it is nice to hear you are beautiful, wanted, desired, and all the other stuff. But SERIOUSLY ladies! Have an ounce of self-respect! Some of the women at the bar left little to the imagination. And trust me, watching the men, their imaginations were running wild! Some women were quite brazen in their attempts to get a man to notice her. But hey, who am I to judge? But yes, I did judge! Oh did I judge.

Now I am not all sweet and innocent here! HELLLLLL NOOOOOO! I have done some pretty stupid things in attempts to get a man to notice me. Lowered my IQ to match the amount of cleavage I was showing, is just one example. Along with a few other less than self-respecting ways to get a man’s attention. But that feeling of being desired can be very addictive! When your self-esteem is low, a ‘how you doin’ can be the fix you are looking for. When a recent breakup has left you thinking you are not desired, well let’s just say a man’s attention can be quite satisfying. Looking for that outside validation from a man has us women doing some really silly stuff.

Now some women can go after a little lovin without all those feelings attached. I was speaking with a girlfriend the other day on this subject after she announced she has decided to take a lover. Yup, those were her exact words. I almost peed my pants laughing at just how she said it. Her whole demeanor was quite calm about this, like she had really put a lot of thought into it. Actually, knowing her, she probably did! But just the way she said it… I have decided to take a lover. Not a bad idea, if you understand the game you will be playing. And for some women, this works. They can ‘take a lover’ without all the strings that come attached. Not me. I am a package deal, strings included.

I have learned that the instant gratification I seek, can leave you with a lot less self-respect than when you started! The walk of shame the next morning is stronger than the feelings of want the night before. Trying to make lust turn into love just doesn’t work quite that way.

But love with lust is a whole other story! When you feel respected and equal that lust takes things to a whole new level. In my experience, it doesn’t happen the other way around. When you are with a man that is interested in your thoughts, your dreams, is there to support you, to walk beside you, to listen to your ideas, well the bedroom play is that much more of a high. I have often said that when things aren’t working outside the bedroom, they sure as hell aren’t working inside the bedroom. And vice versa on that as well! Sorry, but if the play behind closed doors leaves you less than satisfied, it carries into the rest of your relationship as well.

When a man has taken the time to get inside your brain before he gets inside your pants, it writes its own story. Yes, sex is an amazing release. A feeling not like any other to be quite honest. It leaves you breathless. It rocks your world. It takes you to heights that you never thought possible. WITH THE RIGHT PARTNER!

A partner that wants more than a roll in the hay. A partner that has your best interests at heart. A partner that is willing to stick around. A partner that supports you, has your back, knows the little intricacies that make up you! And you his. Because like sex, a relationship is better played as a 2 player game.

So yes, I have all the desires of a hot blooded woman. But I also have all the needs of a soft warm woman. So I will stay sexually frustrated till the right guy takes the time to get to know me. Besides, that’s why we can buy batteries in bulk at Costco.

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Debbi Serafinchon Written by:

Just an average ordinary woman being herself on this crazy ride we call life. I say what I mean and mean what I say. I chose to bring along 4 crazy side kicks on this journey, my 4 kids. The actual realization of my journey began after my divorce. Hindsight being what it is, I realized before my divorce I was just going through the steps. My eyes are now wide open to the path ahead of me.


  1. Zoe
    September 30

    Great post! I love reading everything you write.

    • justmeDebbi
      September 30

      Thx Girl! I’m glad you enjoy. I love writing them & it’s wonderful to be appreciated.

  2. Mattison
    September 30

    This made me giggle, but I think Deano can handle it hahaha might even be good to hear. <3
    Or I might just enjoy torturing her.

    • justmeDebbi
      September 30

      And this is why I like you… we’re both EVIL! Thx for stopping in kid!

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