(Fake) Sunshine and Lollipops

We’ve all been subjected to the fake happy people on social media.

They post their fake happy filtered smiles all over social media. They post their fake happy lives in memes. They post their fake happy, inspirational bullshit hoping that we will fertilize our lives with it because we see it has worked for them.

Do these people honestly expect us to believe that they never get upset that they had to wait in line at the grocery store while some gramma counted out her pennies, one by one, knowing this would make them late to whatever appointment they were supposed to be at next? And these people never get pissed off that some moron cut them off in traffic? Or that their kids were assholes? Or their spouses said something that hurt their feelings?

I call bullshit that they are forever thanking the universe or their God for the blessing coming their way and that they never EVER get upset.

Take a look at a flower. Any flower. I will let you pick your favorite flower. Now think about what that flower needs to grow. It needs the sunshine. It needs rain. It needs both. If it gets too much sunshine, it will die. If it gets too much rain, it’ll die. It needs a balance of both. Much like us if we want to grow.

So to the people that only post your happy bullshit, expecting the rest of us to believe that you are growing in life, you are not fooling the rest of us poor smucks who experience the good and the bad.

Could the Real People Please Stand Up?

Keeping up with the Jones’ has taken on a whole new meaning within social media. We can filter our selfies to make us appear slimmer or with fewer wrinkles. We can take 100 pictures of the fun amazing things we did on the weekends and post them to social media sites to show that we are interesting and fun. No one needs to know that those 100 pictures happened in a span of 1 hour out of the 48 on the weekend. The other 47 hours were spent combing through everyone else’s posts to ensure that we had more fun than the next person.

And don’t forget to install those apps that will get us more likes on our pictures then the next guy as well. That External validation is so important to us that we are forever checking who liked what picture when. It gives us the high we are looking for, don’t even think for one minute that you are immune to it. With 73% of the population in Canada and the US having a social media profile, there is a pretty good chance you have posted at least one thing hoping others would see it and think “Wow that’s pretty awesome.” Social media plays a major role in how our peers see us and is the quickest way to receive short-term instant gratification.

What Social Media Offers Us

Facebook, Twitter, and LinkedIn (to name a few) are popular sites on which we can log in and see what others are doing. From our neighbors down the street to family members on the other side of the world, social media has opened up a whole new world to many of us. These sites over the years have seen huge growth with the biggest group of users being teens. There are benefits to belonging to this massive expansion of profiles on these sites. Some of those include the support groups that offer help for people struggling with life or social anxiety.

Not only does social media offer us a chance to see what our family and friends are doing, but it also gives us the opportunity to feel bad about ourselves. There is research out there that suggests there is a significant link between social media usage and depression. When we compare ourselves to others in a negative fashion, we can become envious, which can lead to us becoming depressed. Of course, there are other factors that need to be pulled into this equation, but there is research becoming available that is showing it does indeed affect our mental health.

Personally, I do not understand the need to appear to live a perfect life. I know that hard times (the rainy times) have forced me to grow as a person. These difficult times in my life have offered me an opportunity to look inside myself and do a personal audit of sorts. What is working? What isn’t working? How can I change things to help me be a better person? It makes the good times (the sunshine and lollipop times) seem that much more bright.

So to all those fake smiling people out there counting your blessing that haven’t come your way yet, I see what you’re doing. I’m on to you.

And honestly, you break my heart. I pity you that you feel you have to appear so happy in life to keep up with whatever image you have in your head. It has got to be taxing on your mental state. It has got to be difficult to keep that smile plastered in place. It has got to be a heavy burden to carry that sun filled basket all day long.

I invite you to set all that aside. Sit in the shade. Maybe have a cry. A deep soul-cleansing cry. Let those tears fall and wash over you. Let the unperfectness of your life happen. Let your flaws shine through.

And for fuck sakes, stop pushing your fake positive on the rest of us.

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Debbi Serafinchon Written by:

Just an average ordinary woman being herself on this crazy ride we call life. I say what I mean and mean what I say. I chose to bring along 4 crazy side kicks on this journey, my 4 kids. The actual realization of my journey began after my divorce. Hindsight being what it is, I realized before my divorce I was just going through the steps. My eyes are now wide open to the path ahead of me.

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