Don’t Waste My Time


From across the crowded bar he stared right at me. Walked straight to me. Handed me a note and kept walking. I was blown away. Nothing like this had ever happened to me before. Open it, my girlfriend encouraged me. So with a silly little grin, I did. Here’s the note…

the note
Don’t mind the spelling & I cut off his phone number as well

I looked around. He was definitely gone. Well isn’t that the strangest thing. Message him, my girlfriend encouraged me. What the hell do you say to a man that leaves you a note like this than keeps going? I opened my messenger, typed in his number and sat there. Well, type something Deb… anything.

Well played Derek, well played. SEND

And now we wait, I thought. I figured he would message back. I figured if he was that interested he would send me a reply. He PHONED instead, asking me to come meet him at the next stop on his night on the town. Ummmm, no. I had too much to drink at this point (which was true), I was wearing 4” heels and not walking anywhere (true again), and besides my girlfriend and I were enjoying a night on the town (also true). He said he would come get me, in a cab so I didn’t have to walk. My girlfriend was welcome to join us for a drink. Again… no. Not tonight. Once he realized I was not changing my mind, he said he’d call me the next day.

Sunday came with a great big hangover but no call. Yes, I was a little disappointed but not surprised. He sounded pretty ‘happy’ when we had talked on the phone the night before. A little liquid courage if you will. Monday came and went and still no call. I put him out of my head as nothing more than a little stroke to my ego. But then he called Tuesday wanting to get together. I had my kids that week so no. He called Wednesday. Then Thursday. Hmmmm, maybe there was a little interest there. Then Friday I mentioned that my kids all had plans for Saturday night and I suddenly had a couple of free hours in the evening. Well then, we should get together he suggested. We sure could was my reply. He was going to call me the next day to make arrangements.

Saturday morning…. Nothing
Saturday afternoon…. Nothing

My girlfriend and I went back and forth over whether or not I should send him a message asking what’s up. I was against it. She was for it. My reasoning was I didn’t want to look like I was desperate. She assured me that I had to show some interest. But I thought I already did was my line of thinking. ANYWAY… she won the debate this time. I sent him a message wondering if we were getting together as we had discussed. Andddddddddddddddd nothing. Not a thing. No phone call. No message. Nothing. Till around 7 that night when he explained he missed my message and had made plans. Uh huh (that was a sarcastic uh huh by the way, in case you missed it)

I will be honest. It stroked my ego when he handed me that note. But then the cynical me returned when he didn’t follow through. So you had just enough courage to hand me the note but nothing else? You phoned me every day to talk but when it comes down to it, you don’t carry through. So my thoughts went something like this…

I am not into games so I was done playing whatever game he was playing. So I thought. I had 2 girlfriends telling me to not be so rigid, maybe he really didn’t see the messages. Maybe he really was busy and forgot. Maybe I should just open my mind a little. Ya well, whatever. He isn’t going to call and I sure as hell ain’t calling him. So that was that. Until Thursday.

He called. I didn’t answer. He tried again. I didn’t answer. He messaged. I didn’t answer. He called again. I finally messaged him back. I was in the middle of something and couldn’t talk then (and I wasn’t lying, I really was in the middle of being trained on a computer program at work). He messaged me that he was going to continue calling until I answered. Ok, FINE. So we talked a bit. He apologized for last Saturday, he had family come in from out of town (Ok, well that sounded reasonable, right??). He got busy at work this week (Again, I can relate to that). He really wanted to take me out. He was in my area now, could we meet up? No. I was the one too busy now. Long story short, we agreed to meet the next night at 7 and he was going to call at 5 to let me know where.

You will NEVER believe what happened last night at 5 (again, sarcasm). There was no call. There was no message. There was nothing at 6 either. Or 7 for that matter. Just like I knew there wouldn’t be. It was no shock that he didn’t carry through. I needed a night at home anyway to be quite honest but that didn’t mean somewhere deep inside I wasn’t disappointed. The thing I am mulling over as I write this is am I more disappointed that he didn’t call or am I more disappointed that I didn’t trust my instincts on this one? Maybe a little of both. Either way, he’s not getting another chance… fool me once Mr.

And besides, I blocked his number.

I just don’t understand the game. Why bother if you’re not going to bother? My first instinct is that he was looking for a little fun at those particular moments when he contacted me. Well, he picked the wrong girl for that. But why do people do this? I am not naïve enough to think that it is just men that play these games. In the exact words of my girlfriend that is experiencing online dating right now…. Are there no decent people left in this world? I know one thing for certain, being home with just me, myself and I on a Friday night is a whole lot easier than playing this game we call dating. At this point in my life, I am not interested in the game. I won’t play. So either step up or step aside.

So back to the theme in many of my other blogs


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Debbi Serafinchon Written by:

Just an average ordinary woman being herself on this crazy ride we call life. I say what I mean and mean what I say. I chose to bring along 4 crazy side kicks on this journey, my 4 kids. The actual realization of my journey began after my divorce. Hindsight being what it is, I realized before my divorce I was just going through the steps. My eyes are now wide open to the path ahead of me.


  1. USACritter
    November 1

    Trying to explain this is very difficult for a regular guy like myself. There’s always been a division between good men and bad boys that a good man like myself could never understand. And frankly a division in women between those that like bad boys and those that don’t that I fail to understand.

    Humans are finely tuned engines tuning themselves on the responses they get from their interactions. A guy like this would not behave in such a manner if there wasn’t a lot of positive reinforcement that he receives from an approach like this. He’s been successful in getting girls to chase him, to beg him, to appreciate his distance and disinterest and so he continues.

    Why do woman respond that way? What’s the attraction for woman in a guy that could ignore them and disrespect them without a second thought. Purposefully.

    Might be a good “guest blog” if you knew a woman like that who could explain why instead of doing what you’ve done – block the asshole actively seek out and enjoy the experience of disrespect. I’d be interested.

    So from a guy that is part of the “why do the hot woman go for the assholes” crowd I wonder.

    • justmeDebbi
      November 1

      Good idea! I just dont know any woman that lower their standards enough to allow someone to treat them this way. I prefer the block and NEXT method.

      Thx for sharing your thoughts on this. It perplexes my mind as well.

  2. SumGuy
    November 3

    all I can say is HE screwed up ROYALLY

    you are not one in a million… you are a once in a lifetime person…

    • justmeDebbi
      November 3

      WOW! What a beautiful message to see come across my screen. Thank you so much. It’s men like you that keep me believing my friend.

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