Dating a Strong Independent Woman

I’ve come across numerous men that think they want a strong independent woman in their lives. Once they are faced with one, they are unsure of what to do or how to handle her. My word of advice; forget all those girls you’ve dated and the games you’ve had to play with them. You won’t need all that bullshit with a strong woman. You won’t need to try and figure out what she is thinking or why she did something a certain way; she’ll tell you. You won’t need to try and guess if you are a want or a need; she’ll show you that you are wanted in so many ways. And you most certainly will not ever be left trying to figure out where you stand with her.

So here are just a few of the traits of a strong independent woman that I have come to realize.

  1. Strong women say what they mean and mean what they say. We are not afraid to ask for what we believe we deserve. We are quite comfortable speaking our minds. Some more eloquently than others. So if something is bothering us, you’ll know. We don’t drop hints or speak in tongues about how we are feeling. If we’re upset; we’ll cry. If we’re mad; we’ll express it without name calling or put downs. If we’re happy; you’ll feel the effects. There is no guessing or trying to figure out where you stand. And we expect the same in return. We thrive on it actually.
  2. We have many priorities in our lives. Being in a relationship is one of those. We are very proud of who we are because we have worked our asses off to get there. We have defined ourselves professionally and personally. We know that all aspects of our life, a relationship, kids, friends, family and work are important. But not one of those roles define us. We are not just a Mom or our career or someone’s significant other. We are just ourselves and damn proud of each of those parts that make up who we are.
  3. We take responsibility for our own growth; emotionally, financially and physically. We are not afraid to look in the mirror and see the flaws and scars. Actually, we think they are quite beautiful. Those laugh lines, those few extra pounds, those sagging boobs are a testament of just how far we have come. But you can bet your bottom dollar if we do see something there we don’t like, we will not hesitate to make it right. We see a fire and passion in our eyes each and every time we look close enough. We are not afraid to pay our own bills, buy our own groceries, or haggle over the price of a car. We work hard to support ourselves and the ones we love, both financially and emotionally. And we do it all with a passion that is deep inside of us.
  4. When we come to you with a problem, we are not looking for you to ride in on your trusty steed and save the day or us. We are looking to bounce ideas off of you. We are looking for you to just listen and lend us your ear. Sometimes the frustration of the problem will bring tears to our eyes. Those tears are not weakness. We don’t need you to make them disappear. We need your shoulder to cry on, your strength to lean into or your arms to just hold us for a minute as we gather our wits about us.

Being in a relationship with a strong independent woman is not about validating her. It is about seeing that fire in her eyes and the passion in her heart and helping to fan it; not piss all over it and tell us that it is impossible or crazy or unobtainable. One thing I can guarantee you, is if you date or are married to one of these woman, you’ve got yourself one hell of a catch. Embrace her as strongly as she will embrace you.

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Debbi Serafinchon Written by:

Just an average ordinary woman being herself on this crazy ride we call life. I say what I mean and mean what I say. I chose to bring along 4 crazy side kicks on this journey, my 4 kids. The actual realization of my journey began after my divorce. Hindsight being what it is, I realized before my divorce I was just going through the steps. My eyes are now wide open to the path ahead of me.


  1. December 30

    Wow. You have summarized my last ‘almost’ relationship, except I knew what I had and knew what I wanted. I may not have been her cup of tea, or she may have not believed that I was genuine. I may never know, but I know that’s the kind of woman worth fighting tooth and nail for.

    • December 30

      We most definitely are. But I’m biased on this.

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