I swear. A lot. No, I mean a LOT. Combine a trucker with a pirate and you have me.
I also tend to not sensor myself (oops, was that my outside voice?). My kids have heard “fuck” so many times, they think something is wrong if I leave it out of a statement. I’ve left people standing with their mouths open wide as I try to tell a story. Many have told me I have a “potty” mouth. NO SHIT! I swear no matter whose company I am in. My favorite is when someone sends me a DM on twitter explaining that I swear too much so they are going to unfollow me. My reply is always, “you haven’t been following me long, have you?”
But seriously… what other word can you use that is a noun, a verb, an adjective, and well I think you see where I’m going with this….
When I’m happy, I swear.
Mad, I swear.
Confused, yup, I swear.
Can’t find the right word… you guessed it… I swear.
And yes of course I have a story…
My mom was babysitting my oldest daughter when she was very young. Away they went in the car (what? No, I dont know where they were going. Not important). Anyway… seems someone cut Gramma off in traffic. So my sweet innocent little girl pipes up from the back seat to inform Gramma that those guys were ‘just a bunch of fuckin tools’. Honest Mom, I don’t know where she would have learned that! Gasp. (But koodoos to ya kid for putting it in the right context!)
OH RELAX! She is currently 24 and a well-rounded adult with a great vocabulary!
That’s the other part of my story. If you are under 18 and swearing in front of me, I will tell you to watch your mouth. My kids get told this quite often (usually in the middle of an intense Xbox game, the f bomb will get dropped). No, I’m not a hypocrite on this. My reasoning is that once you start paying the bills in your own house, swear all you want. Sorry guys, thems the rules in my house! Just like I can drink (yes, I checked MY birth certificate says over 18, yours does not kids), I can swear.
I’ve been told that it is disrespectful that I swear in the presence of well, whoever. Sorry, but not really. I am almost positive that we have the freedom of speech. My freedom of speech just happens to include a few choice words. So maybe that is disrespectful. Meh… so be it. You have a choice with me; you can listen or not listen to me. I don’t give a fuck one way or the other.
The point of my story is, if you’re following my blog. Be prepared. I swear.
Did I mention a lot?